Tired of Bedtime struggles? 7 tips for parents

Are you getting tired of bedtime struggles with your children? setting the bedtime routine for your children becomes a headache for you? Then you are not alone my dear.

We all have gone through this situation. We all are in the same boat. No matter what age your child is, if the situation is not addressed properly it becomes a daily struggle for parents.

I can understand and feel the pain of the situation where you are getting tired of a hectic day, want some time to relax, need me time, or want to spend some time with your partner.

At the same time, your child is being playful or resist to hit the pillow. When this happens on a daily routine it feels like an exhausting task. We feel a little disappointed and also frustrated.

This may happen to most of the parents but don’t know how to deal with the situation

The bedtime struggle I faced

It was the daily routine for me to tell a story to my 3-year-old child before going to bed.

We enjoy lots of moments, talk about our day, having fun conversations, but every night he asks for more time with me.

I was getting tired after a long day and wanted some time to soothe myself. At the same time, my child’s struggle to go to bed irritated and frustrated me.

The worst part was that my child also sensed that too which I can see in his reaction.

In the end, this struggle made me guilty for not meeting the emotional needs of my child and for not being a good mom.

I knew what was happening but could not find the solution. Then I learned about the boundaries, healthy and realistic boundaries.

Started to keep learning and do experiments on trial and error.

Have you ever had questions about why are they doing so?

Why do they not sleep on time and why they don’t want to sleep at all?

Here are the 3 reasons why children don’t want to sleep.

They may still feel energetic.

They want more time to spend with you

They may feel FOMO

This is another topic which we cover next time.

Here are a few tips to help parents to deal with bedtime struggles:

1) Establish a consistent bedtime routine.

Routine plays a pivotal role when you want the desired result. Try to stick to the routine that you have made at a specific time and order.

For adopting new habits always remember that consistency and perseverance are the keys to success. It also can be applied to the parenting.

Consistency creates a habit in the subconscious brain. When you become consistence in following the routine your child eventually adapts that habit.

In the beginning, you may find it hard to follow the new routine but after a few attempts of consistent action, the action initially becomes a habit.

For instance, brushing teeth and taking a shower before bed, making bed, gratitude prayer, bedtime stories anything you can add to this routing.

Just one condition, do it at the same time and regularly.

But check on it, as it can take time to get into the new habit.2

2 ) Create a calm and soothing sleep environment.

The environment of the bedroom affects the sleeping pattern of a child. The position of the bed and lighting in the room should be comfortable for children.

So, Using the soothing lights before 2 hours of bedtime signals their mind to calm their nervous system. Their mind sends the signal to the body to relax and shut.

If your child is at a young age, try some lullabies, and for older ones play relaxing music or calm and soothing music.

It works like music therapy for your children and you can also take some advantage of it. You can feel the magic of the music.

Well-arranged bed, dim lights, music, and your company make your child in a safe and calm place. They feel more relaxed, safe, and, secure.

This means they feed their unconscious mind with peace and love which helps your child to develop cognitive and emotional intelligence and to develop their personality.

3) Limit screen time before bed.

Our electronic devices ( mobile, laptop, TV, tablet) emit blue lights which disrupt the sleep cycle. The research shows that Blue light stimulates the part of the brain that signals our body to be in active and alert mode.

Blue light also suppresses melatonin which helps our body to fall asleep.

One must avoid the screen before 2 hours of sleep. This simple step can help your child to fall asleep more quickly and they can get enough quality sleep all night.

As we know quality sleep is a must for growing children as it affects their behavior and health (physical and emotional).

4) Encourage relaxation activities.

You can also try some relaxation activities. Relaxation activities send signals to the brain to get into relaxation mode.

After having energetic daytime activities, relaxation activities like reading, music, and bedtime stories can help your child to relax.

You can also try a head massage, gentle tapping on the back, or just a simple conversation anything of your preference.

Your child feels relaxed and sleepy after the relaxation activities which leads you to lesser bedtime struggles.

5) Address any fears or anxieties your child may have.

Many times it happens that children may feel fear of the unknown or they may get scared of something. They may have had a bad day or had faced a difficult day.

These all can also bother a child to fall asleep.

So, if you find that the child is not feeling okay with any kind of uneasy feeling, address them calmly and mindfully.

Be compassionate with them and also validate their feeling. Ignoring those feelings leads them to trauma.

Talking about their feelings and validating those feelings gives you a chance to get deeper into the problems that they are facing.

With your help, they feel safe and secure. Your love and support help them to be calm and relaxed and eventually, they fall asleep easily.

Help them to get rid of those problems and if you find it difficult take the advice of an expert.

6) Set clear boundaries and expectations around bedtime.

Before you jump into this whole frame, make sure you have clear boundaries and expectations.

Before setting the boundaries be realistic and know the needs and requirements of your child.

Your family’s schedule also plays an important part in this. Also, understand that everyone is unique so never make your expectations according to someone else’s lifestyle.

Be unique in your own way and then make your own rules to follow the routine.

without a clear boundary and false expectations may increase bedtime struggles.

7) Keep patience and understanding during the bedtime routine.

Well, now you have made the blueprint of the bedtime routine and you made it precisely in the sense of your child’s physical and mental well-being.

It sounds great to make it appropriately but now the next step would be the most crucial and most difficult.

Bonus tip on Bedtime Struggle

You can go for a walk after dinner. You can make a habit of walking with your children after dinner.

It is like a buy 1 get 1 free offer, it is a good habit for your health to walk after dinner, and you can also have quality time with your child without any distractions.

After spending quality time with family children feel relaxed. The walk is also good for their health and they will sleep without a lot of drama and activity.

Children get a night of quality sleep as the research says that walking can also improve the sleep qualities of a person.

The implementation of the routine.

In the beginning, it may be possible to avoid bedtime struggles as the child is not prepared for the new changes.

At that time your patience and understanding of your child’s situation help you and guide you to reduce bedtime struggles.

Here, I’ll share my experience.

In the beginning, I tried to follow some strict rules about the bedtime routine, and everything collapsed and fell apart in a few days.

And I was in shock that what I did wrong? Why the framework did not work?

After a few attempts, I noticed that it became hard for me because I was over-forcing my children and started to change the whole routine drastically.

That sudden change was totally unexpected for my child and he was not able to cope with it.

After my realization I started it at a slow pace, changing everything little by little. So, my child can be comfortable with the new habit and accept those changes eventually.

(Here, I also want to share something. How much time it takes to adopt the new routine totally depends on the child’s age, it’s flexibility and resilience.)

For all the routine I had to be very patient. When I started it was like a nightmare for me but by understanding my child’s needs I had set my expectations accordingly.

With consistency and firm boundaries, I can achieve my goal of a bedtime routine easily.

Conclusion

To establish the best bedtime routine you don’t have to be harsh on your child or yourself. Just simple changes in your routine and consistency make it easier for you and your child.

You just be the loving parent guiding them to the best time of their day.

Thank YOu for reading this article. I hope you get value from it. Your words mean a lot to us so please share your opinions and thoughts in the comment section.

Happy Parenting.

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