We always talk about mothers and motherhood. We talked about her responsibility and sacrifices all the time, but here we are talking about Father – The First Hero Of Child, an unsung Hero.

On this Father’s Day, I want to talk to the fathers, about their challenges, the problems they face, and how to make their bond strong with their children.

Your dad and you as a dad

It’s Father’s Day and after being a parent we look at our father with more empathy, love, and respect as now we know how hard it was for him to deal with every responsibility. Many times, some situations and circumstances happen in such order that feels like we are in the past and playing the same role that our parents had played in front of us.

At that moment we can understand why they were so in an aggressive mood and why they were concerned for little things. Now we can understand the distress and worries of our father. It feels so real when we change our perspective from son to father.

The moment we live our life in the past and recall those memories with our father, it feels fascinating, and within a blink, now we are in the present world, playing the role of father the same as our father did.

Some tense moments in our childhood are linked to our father. Sometimes we see our father as a villain, afraid of him even for a silly mistake.

In the childhood, many of us had so much fear of our father.

There is no point in who was right or wrong but many times that moment makes us upset and another moment makes us laugh and feel proud and respect for them.

Let’s celebrate Father’s Day to celebrate fatherhood, for all the sacrifices they made for their children, for the unconditional love they give to their children.

A father is a real hero in our life who is always unsung and still plays all his duties and responsibilities.

Then and Now

Many times, some similar incidents happen with our child and now as a parent, we should ask ourselves what is the right way to deal with it. Do we act and react the same way as our father did?

At that moment I felt like my father was whispering in my ears and saying, “History repeats itself”

And I always ask myself, “Is that really hard to deal with kids?”

And the answer is, “I have to change my perspective, my point of view.”

It is not a big deal because we already have lived life as young child, teenagers, and young adults. Well, some aspects have changed, technology, society, mindset, and many more. But still, we are trapped in some unchanged pattern.

For instance, teenage tantrums, child’s behavior, rebelliousness, back answering, anger, and the most difficult, differences in perspective and clashes of beliefs.

These all things are so common no matter in which century we live. And still, the responsibility, love towards children, and care for them, as a parent and especially as a father will never end. These feelings are obvious as a father, as a parent always lives within us.

Well, let’s come to the point. Here we are to help parents, to guide them with problems they are facing in their parenting journey.

Whose responsibility is to parenting?

When we say parenting, most people have an image of a mother in their mind but in reality, parenting is not only a mother’s job. In parenting mother and father both play equal roles.

Mostly we can see that the mother is always there for the child from the first day of the baby’s birth, and the father gets busy playing his part of responsibility. To earn bread, to fulfill all the needs, and to try to maintain the lifestyle and comfort of his family and his children.

To play his role perfectly, sometimes he forgets to prioritize his role as a father. Due to his responsibility, he misses many happy, precious, and unforgettable moments. Child’s first step, his first crawl, his tiny but incredible naughtiness, and everything.

Even when the child gets sick, a father cannot be able to stay with the child, just because he has to play his part of role and responsibility.

These all are so grieving and upsetting but here I’ll try to give you some tips that will help you to understand your child and then you can use it to make your bond stronger.

Related Article- Father’s role in parenting

You are a Role Model for Your Child

Yeah, it’s true. Your child looks up to you as the best person in the world. You are the one who introduces them to the real world and by doing this you become their role model.

They like to follow you, your ethics, your gestures, your attitude, the way you treat others, the way you talk to others, everything. This is happening from day one.

So, if you want to make them a kind, happy, optimistic, and successful person, you have to model it. You have to show your better version each day to show them the best way to be a good human.

Try to be a Friendly Parent instead of being a Friend

There is the misconception that we parents have to be their friends but that would not be possible.

Because we are not at the same age or same maturity level. Now we are grown and matured but they are not even though they believe so.

Children especially pre-teenagers and teenagers always believe that they are grown and they can make decisions by themselves. We also believe so in our teenage and that is normal.

It is just part of development but here we should remember that they still need our guidance. They are in their developing years and immature but if you become a strict father, they always find an escape plan. And then after you lose the opportunity to guide them the worst part is the high chance that your child will get stuck in an unwanted situation.

So, it is better to create a friendly relationship with your child (girl/boy) rather than be a strict father (parent).

Because punishment and unrealistic boundaries never give you the desired result you want. It increases problematic behaviour in children and affects them emotionally and negative impression on the child’s unconscious mind.

How to create a bond with a child

Father always wants to build a connection with their child but the problem is, first lack of time after a long and hectic day, and second, how to engage with the child.

But to make a bond and create a connection is also the most important task. So, focus on quality of time instead of quantity time. No matter how little you have time for your child. Try to keep in touch with them the whole day.

For instance, if you are a father of a toddler (even a newborn) after office hours play with them for 15 minutes. Hugs, kisses, and cuddling make you feel relaxed and your child also loves to spend time with you.

If you are a father of a teenager, talk about your day, share your experiences with your child, your childhood stories, or anything that can make your child engage with you. You can talk about the topic that your child is interested in.

Keep in touch during office hours. Ask them about their day, school friend, their career plan, etc.

Build trust so they can feel safe to share their stories. Even if you find something unpleasant, at that moment do not lecture them or punish or scold your child. Give yourself some time to analyze the situation and respond accordingly. Always choose to respond instead of react.

By doing this your child develops faith in you and next time they will not be afraid to share anything with you.

Give them appropriate guidance in the right tone and right manner to correct them.

Ask a child for help

Well, it is true that the new generation is techno-savvy and we millennial parents many times face a struggle to use it.

This is the moment when you get a chance to be closer to your child. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from your child. They will not look at you as dumb but will definitely show interest in teaching you.

In this way, they feel a new connection with you. They will guide you exactly in the same way you taught them in their childhood.

In many terms, you feel that your child is more mindful than you, even in life lessons. You will get a new perspective from you and get the new information.

You would like to have suggestions and help from them.

Willingness to adopt their world

Always willing to learn new things and try to match their mindset because nowadays due to technology they become smarter and more intelligent and so their perspective has changed.

They are more open to accepting the new world. They do not want to live in a cage, their dreams and their ambitions are different from ours.

So, accept their hopefulness and their point of view. They are the people of the future and our responsibility is to make them able to survive and sustain in the future world.

First, listen to them

Children always like to share their stories, they share their experience and their day, and they love to share it with you. But somehow, we always avoid them and get busy in our routine.

Eventually, they stopped sharing because of our disappointment.

Listening is the best thing you can use to create bonds and connections. Just by listening you can enter into the world where they actually lived.

You can get a glimpse of their intellect, their power, their goodness, and everything that is inside of them.

So, the next time your child comes to you and shares something, even if it seems less important to you, even though put down your phone, get down to their level, look into their eyes, and start listening.

If your child has grown up you can still make space for them but here you have to take the first step to start the conversation.

Conclusion

Father- the first hero of a child means they see you as their superhero, they believe in you and in your words. You play many roles in their life, as a mentor, as a friend, and many more.

Your role in parenting plays a pivotal role and that is the reason why a father is the first hero of a child.

There are lots of things that I want to share with you but right now this is it for today. Thank you for reading this article. Your words mean a lot to us so please share your thoughts in the comment section.

Please feel free to share your experiences as a father with us, it is encouraging for us.

And share this with other fathers who also want to create a connection with their children.

Wish you Happy parenting and happy fatherhood

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Father – The First Hero Of Child