If you are a parent of a preschooler and you are going to put your child to school for the first time then this is for you. I know that it is hard for parents to leave their child to the playgroup for the first time as there is a concern for the child and they also feel separation anxiety. We parents get confused about how to deal with a child’s tantrums for going to school.
Parents always want the best for their child, the best school with the best faculties, and also which has good premises. After doing a lot of research about the different schools, they face the most difficult situation. Separation from their child even when they are crying and hitting the ground. Leaving them at almost an unknown place and with unknown persons.
In the beginning, children throw the worst tantrums, not every child but some of them. Their tantrum becomes a big concern and at the same time the biggest irritational event for the parents.
I had also faced the same at the beginning of my child’s school days. He started to throw tantrums from getting ready for school and it continued until the class had started. This continued for six months.
Making him ready for school became a headache for me and I was totally clueless about what to do. I had tried every possible trick to get out of this problem. I was doing whatever I could as a part of making him comfortable for the school.
After a few months, I realized that there was something that I had missed in the routine and started to work on it.
I got to know that the way I approach my child is not appropriate, as the irritation was seen in my behavior and it also reflected in him.
After so many trials I have learned that every child is unique and mine is strong-willed so I have to be a little more careful and mindful while dealing with him.
Here I share some of the techniques that have helped me while leaving him to school. I hope it will give you some guidance and direction if you are facing the same problem as me.
Some points to remind yourself while dealing with a child’s tantrums for going to school
Separation anxiety
Your child is going to an unknown place where they are not feeling comfortable. At the same time, they see their close person, their parents leaving them alone with strangers.
This will create an anxiety in the child called separation anxiety. Children Having separation anxiety are normal. Children throw tantrums as a part of separation anxiety.
Throwing tantrums is a part of expressing their emotions as they have not learned to regulate emotions yet.
Even we as parents also feel separation anxietyThe feeling of being separated makes our throats choke. After leaving them to school you may feel a heavy heart as a part of anxiety.
We, adults, have faced it too, then think about your child who sees that their entire world and the parents are leaving them and going away.
Throwing tantrums is normal behavior for them. How you deal with it makes the difference.
Stay calm and positive
While leaving your child it is advisable to control your emotions and behavior.
If you find that your child throws the worst tantrum the first step to do is stay calm and be positive.
I can understand that it is way harder for you to face but take a pause, count for 3, and breathe.
Try to understand your child’s feelings and be compassionate to them.
And most important stay positive. Remind yourself that this will not happen for the rest of your life, it will end very soon.
Listen to your child
The first rule of parenting is to listen to your child and listen to their body language. It will solve almost 75% of the parenting problems, believe me.
Your child is at a very young age and that’s why it is considerable that they do not learn the skill to communicate properly yet. They are still learning how to express their feeling.
Right now, they don’t know how to address their problem properly. So, listen to them carefully, and address their concern with questions about how and what.
For instance, “How are you feeling while going to school?” or “What activities at school make you happy and excited?”
Trying to explore their world from their perspective will make you more aware of their world and their feelings.
Leaving plan
When you make your child get ready for school tell them about the routine you are going to follow. Like, when you are leaving, how do you reach school, who will drop them at school or by bus, etc.
This will clearly convey your message to the child about what is planned for them. When you tell your child what is going to happen next and they know about the plan they will get mentally prepare for that situation.
This will lower their stress level and they feel less anxiety.
Positive Goodbye
This is the most crucial part, as of now you are leaving them to a place which is not familiar to your child. They are now on their own and out of their comfort zone.
Your goodbye means a lot to them. It is the way to comfort your child by your words. So, make your words positive and energetic.
Your positive goodbye creates a huge impact on their unconscious mind and make them feel positive and confident after your leave.
Announce your leaving
The final step, leaving them on their own. Give them clear but short explanations of your leaving. Hug them or kiss them and firmly announce that you are now leaving.
This is the moment when it is possible that your child starts to cry or hit the ground for not going to school but remember this is the time to tell your child that they have to be strong and independent. So, leave them without hesitation.
Ensure your child you will be back on time
You have already given the instruction of their routine, when to go, how to go, and when you will pick them up.
Ensure your child that you will be back on time and do the exact thing, reach there at the given time.
Because your child is waiting for you eagerly to meet you after the long hours of school, make your words and reach out to them in a given time span. It will ensure your child that you take your words seriously and they believe in you when the next day you drop them at school.
Don’t hesitate while leaving
The first few days are more sensitive for children. They already don’t want you to leave them there alone. When you hesitate it conveys the message of insecurity. Avoid hesitation at that moment, being firm and confident at that time gives your child the courage to face new challenges.
Your confidence encourages them to be independent and strong.
Remember that your hesitation may increase your child’s tantrums for going to school and it will become more difficult for you to leave them.
Follow the routine
The routine always helps you to be well-managed and less chaotic. Here, when you follow routine consistently, you will see that over time you and your child both feel relaxed and calm.
Your child would learn to follow a particular routine and know their boundaries. Eventually, there is no space for tantrums or any drama.
Routine will help you to decrease your child’s tantrums for going to school.
Conclusion
It is understandable that you are facing a lot at the same time and when we talk about our children then we become more sensitive and impatience.
Do not feel bad about it, it is the story of all the parents. We want them safe and secure, to thrive at the most and whatnot.
But at some point, we have to give them wings to explore the world and the school is the first step toward it. So, be that courageous parent and trust your child and their abilities.
I hope you get all the given points and may it help you.
After applying the point you will notice the change in your child. You can see that your child’s tantrums for going to school will be decreased.
This is just an explanation of an idea to apply during the difficult time of the first day of school which has helped me. But always remember that this is just a simple and common idea to apply. All children are unique, some of them never cry while going to school and some of them feel hard.
And never compare your child with other’s child, it will create only mess and nothing more in your life.
It is upon you how you handle the situation
Thank you for reading the article to the end, I hope you get the value of the article. If yes then please share it with other parents who need help.
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Thank you
Happy Parenting