We always want a happy parent-child relationship but somewhat it become hard to maintain it well. Many times, we lost our temper and get angry on them. After that moment our heart fills with a lot guilty and think like failure in parenting or become anxious for our parenting style. Have we ever thought that why we get angry on children?
This question is very important as it affects directly to our children and their entire life, our relationship. Because our parenting style shapes their personality and their adult self.
How anger affect our children?
Our anger is a big enemy in the path of parenting as its impression get last longer in our child’s unconscious mind even after they become adult.
If we talked about the effect of our anger on our children, then we can say that anger plays a role of villain because anger is always destructive.
There are a lot study and researches say that your raged behaviour, of occurs on your child, if repeatedly then the chances of your child’s misbehaviour increase. They feel insecure and anxious. The punishment, hitting, scolding or yelling at your child may increase the level of depression and other behavioural problem.
Anger is an emotion like other emotion that you feel, love, happiness, sad, worry etc. There is no one who can say that he has never feel the anger. As a human it is natural to be angry at some point but how you act on it is that make you different from others.
When we talking about children, we should be more aware of our reactions.
Just keep in mind that do not act while you feel anger. Anger is destructive and snatch the power to think positively.
Why we get angry on children?
Many times, children trigger our anger as they are connected to us and also, they stimulate our emotions by their actions as it is intensely connected to our childhood memory. Then we often respond unconsciously and cannot able to direct our emotions.
To know about this fact is important as we are here to know about the reason behind our anger and this is just for your knowledge so, the next time when you lose your temper you know that what is the reason behind it. Well, this is just one example.
Be honest with your emotions
We live in the world where we all are stuck into so many things, house chores, office work, children, family members and so on. We are surrounded by lots of task and anxiety, stress, depression, etc are the outcome of our hectic lifestyle. In this tough situation it is possible that we cannot handle our emotions and it explode in the form of anger.
The solution for this situation is to be honest with yourself. Accept the situation and try to find out the best solution for this. Try to give yourself a downtime where you enjoy your own company and be relaxed in your term.
Ask family member to help you in your downtime and even in your daily task. Share your feelings with them and let them know in which situation you are going through. It will give you more strength to handle another situation and you feel a little relax when someone help you.
Be honest with your emotions, if you feel exhausted take a little break to charge yourself. Please, do not be harsh to yourself, it’ll lead you to another big trouble.
Many parents ask me how to do so, how to make time for ourself and my answer is always the same. “If you find out the proper way to nourish yourself, to pamper yourself you feel more energized and with this extra shot of energy you are able to achieve your goal. And in parenting you always need an extra dose of energy.”
You may like to read – Ask these 7 questions to be good parents
Accept that you are the part of this problem
Accept your emotion, accept your anger. After all it is your responsibility to take charge of your emotion, your anger. Do not blame others for this.
The acceptance of problem makes it easier to look forward. Your anger is your emotion and it is part of you. Dig deep in your mind and find out the reason behind your anger. Then after you will easily reach out to the solution.
Anger and children
We mostly get angry on our children but many times we really don’t know that why we get angry on such a silly reason. Then we feel guilty for our actions.
If your replay that situation most of the time the reason behind our anger is not our child. It may office stress, financial issue, family problem or relationship issue or may be other that bother you.
And all that stress we carry the whole time suddenly pour out on our children because they are soft target. And then we don’t have control on our anger. Our mind goes into the flight or fight mode, the neuro system become ready to fight, the veins are flooded with hormones and then we are not in the situation to control our words and action. Many time we scold and hit our child for no reason and reason behind it is just our emotion that are not in our control.
when you learnt to handle it make you empowered and emotionally strong.
Anger and child’s behaviour
Sometime it happens that our child’s behaviour makes us angry no matter what the age of child. For instance, Toddler do tantrum, teenager do back answer, child doing misbehave at public place or in front of relatives and etc.
Related post – How to handle toddlers tantrum?
These all trigger our raged and we all blame on ourself to not become a good parent who is fail to teach their child how to behave. We feel clueless in this condition. But do you know that the research show that when you give your attention to the child’s particular behaviour, the chances of repeating that behaviour goes higher.
Means, when you see the right behaviour just give attention to them in the form of praise, acknowledge and reward. The good behaviour will automatically appear more than before and the chances of getting yourself angry will go down.
Well, this is a slow process and you have to wait until your child understood and change his learning pattern, because they need time to develop their behaviour.
If you want to get the result very soon then you have only one way and that is to take attention to their good behaviour as soon as possible.
You may like to read – 10 ways to control anger on your child
Conclusion
Anger is as normal as other behaviour if you know how to handle it. It is ok to be angry at some point and for some reason but remember that the anger is harmful especially if you are parent. You are the first role model for your child and your child will learn what you are modelling. So, they look up to you and learn how to handle anger.
So, be aware and careful when you are upbringing a child. Your upbringing shapes their adult life.
I feel happy if you get value to this article. If you like this, please send it to the others who are willing to make their parenting life beautiful. If you have any question or suggestion then please tell me in the comment section.
Thank you for your love.
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